Yahoo Finance 35 Too-Real Tweets For Seltzer Lovers (And Haters)
Why drink regular water when you can have a fizzy, delicious seltzer?
Seltzer, sparkling water, soda water, carbonated water ― there are technical differences between some of these (generally involving FDA regulations), but people tend to use the terms interchangeably to refer to water with bubbles. And, as with other popular food and drink items, people tend to have strong opinions on whether seltzer is any good.
Whether you love or hate the La Croix and Topo Chico trends, you can find others who share your opinion. Below, we’ve rounded up 35 funny tweets about seltzer. Enjoy!
Seltzer is like if water took a Tony Robbins seminar
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) June 28, 2017
The short white lady version of Icarus is trying to carry too many boxes of canned seltzer home from the store
— Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis” Wilson (@MaraWilson) February 12, 2019
Confession: If it weren't for La Croix, I would have drunk approximately 1 glass of water in the last 5 years.
— Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) July 1, 2020
When I die, put me in the recycling bin so I can be with all my La Croix cans.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) November 15, 2017
Seltzer water? You mean a virgin Whiteclaw?
— maybe: clare (@clur19) June 20, 2019
if you ever want to make an instant enemy for the rest of your life, bring me some seltzer water. or carbonated water.
— tracy the business goose (@brokeymcpoverty) August 17, 2016
Finding everlasting love would be nice but then so would finding everlasting seltzer
— Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis” Wilson (@MaraWilson) June 26, 2016
La Croix was invented in 2017 when a Glade plug-in had sex with a puddle.
— kim (@KimmyMonte) March 8, 2018
where do abandoned half-drunk cans of formerly sparkling water go?
can they find their way home?
back to the open arms of a love that's waiting there?— Imani Gandy (@AngryBlackLady) July 12, 2021
I always think I’m pregnant but I’m never pregnant I’m just bloated from pounding seltzer water all day
— katie jo (@katiejoyofosho) February 3, 2021
*buys a sodastream*
I have made soda water from naught and I am capable of the world’s greatest feats!!!!
*carbonation tank runs out*
I’m not going to the fucking mall to get a replacement— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) November 14, 2017
y’all keep drinking sparkling water, why don’t u just put ur tongue on a charger
— sarah lugor! (@sarahlugor) August 5, 2020
"OH SHIT there's LaCroix?!" - Me, at a party, when there is LaCroix
— Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis” Wilson (@MaraWilson) October 16, 2016
what stage of quarantine are you at? i've finally hit "feels an overwhelming sense of accomplishment when i've finished a can of seltzer."
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) May 27, 2020
I’ve been home 319 days.
Anyway, this is what happens when you freeze seltzer water for fun. pic.twitter.com/gGOQhuHoKW— Sarah Sweeney (@heysarahsweeney) January 23, 2021
Sparkling water is like Sprite, but instead of sugar, they use hatred and sadness.
— Dimitrie (@thedirtypersian) July 2, 2020
no i do NOT want SODA water, i want SPARKLING water which i KNOW is the same aside from being presented in a way that makes me justify paying thousands of dollars for it!!!
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) April 7, 2018
Just opened a bottle of sparkling water at the airport and it exploded all over me, expecting this to somehow turn into meet-cute
— Bec Shaw (@Brocklesnitch) November 28, 2019
just spilled seltzer all over my new blouse. Using seltzer to clean it up.
— Luwanda (@LuwandaJenkins) January 8, 2018
“That is some damn fine seltzer.” - thing I just said out loud on my 85th birthday, apparently
— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) May 19, 2016
Your hipster name is your favorite school subject and your favorite brand of fizzy water. I’m Art Spindrift.
— Jenny Jaffe (@jennyjaffe) April 24, 2018
New Yorkers: We have the best tap water in the world. Love our tap water. It doesn’t even taste like water. It tastes like tiny drops of happiness. Sometimes I fantasize about it. It saved my life.
Waiter: Ok what do you want to drink though?
New Yorkers: Oh I’ll have a seltzer— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) December 24, 2017
And you will know me by the trail of dead La Croix cans.
— Kendra Alvey 👻 (@Kendragarden) August 11, 2016
new la croix flavor: the water left in the bowl after you wash the lettuce
— kim (@KimmyMonte) February 1, 2019
Sparkling water tastes like hitting your funny bone.
— Jme (@JmeBBK) January 16, 2020
If I ever amassed a fortune, the first eccentric rich person thing I'd do is use pellegrino to get stains out.
— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) July 10, 2015
walk of shame in my early 20s: coming home with last night's outfit on and raccoon mascara eyes
walk of shame in late my 20s: collecting the 16 mugs and seltzer cans that have accumulated on my nightstand and finally bringing them to the kitchen— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) February 7, 2019
still don't get why everybody is so horny for LaCroix
— tracy the business goose (@brokeymcpoverty) July 19, 2018
Might get a little crazy tonight and drink carbonated water with a sensitive tummy
— duchess of dehydration (@hellohappy_time) April 18, 2017
La Croix tastes like if you were drinking carbonated water and someone screamed the name of a fruit from another room
— CANCELLED (@tanamongeau) March 19, 2018
Is there any pineapple sparkling water out there that a) doesn’t involve coconut and b) doesn’t also taste like Coppertone tanning lotion?
— andi zeisler (@andizeisler) July 23, 2021
Drinking sparkling water is like drinking tv static
— Big 🐰 (@FreddieGibbs) July 6, 2019
Sparkling water is disappointing because you smell it and it's like MMMMM SUPER FRUITY and then you taste it and it's just angry water
— Dan ✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽✊🏼✊🏻 (@EPASketch) September 24, 2017
son: mommy what’s a la croix?
me: well, son, when a glass of water and an air freshener love each other very much..— kim (@KimmyMonte) February 2, 2018
me at 21: i'm gonna be bad and do like three shots before going out
me at 29: i'm gonna be bad and squeeze half a lime into this la croix— J. Jennifer Espinoza (@sadqueer4life) July 23, 2017
Also on HuffPost
This article originally appeared on HuffPost and has been updated.
