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Top programmes at this wellness centre cost £35,000 – but can Priya Joshi change the habits of a lifetime at Clinique La Prairie?
“Disconnect from life to reconnect to your soul,” says Phil, the breathing expert at Clinique La Prairie’s ultraexclusive medical spa. I’m embarking on a series of personalised sessions at the worldrenowned retreat in Geneva, where health and nutrition programmes based on cellular therapy are designed to help people live longer and healthier lives. Developed by Professor Niehans, a Swiss surgeon specialising in regenerative medicine, the retreat attracts burnt-out CEOs and selfieweary celebrities.
Winston Churchill, Arthur Miller and Larry Hagman are some of the more surprising patrons whose autographed photos adorn the walls, alongside singer Mika and Bond star Naomie Harris. Clinique La Prairie (CLP) has been a well-kept secret among the super-rich and to maintain a sense of exclusivity for their uber wealthy clients, they have kept it that way – until now.
The centre is undergoing a massive expansion. Following the success of hubs in Shanghai and Doha, a further 40 destinations and 10 new health resorts are in the pipeline, including London, China and Saudi Arabia. I head to the mothership in Geneva to experience for myself the pioneering programmes designed to slow down the ageing process.
PILLARS OF LONGEVITY
A sprawling, space-age retreat in Montreux on the banks of Lake Geneva, here luxury meets medical science – it’s like Claridge’s set in a futuristic world. But this isn’t about vampire facials or quick fix diet fads. Every programme is based on an holistic approach, focused on four pillars of longevity: medical insight, nutrition, well-being and movement, using the latest medicinal technologies to target antioxidation, anti-inflammation and cell regeneration. It’s not anti-ageing – more like ageing well. With 50 doctors for 39 patients, I was amid a four-day detox and reset programme, feeling something like Jamie Somers’ Bionic Woman, hoping they might rebuild me. All this comes at a cost: an eye-watering £35,655 for the most sought after course. Yikes. Here’s what I got for an eye-watering cost.
BREATHING
Breathing expert Phil teaches me how to breathe correctly to release the nervous tension in my body, stimulated by an overly active vagus nerve that triggers fight or flight. Meditation has always eluded me but after Phil teaches me “it’s like a gate that needs to be unlocked,” I feel like someone has pushed a reset button.
ANTI AGEING
Olga, the resident dietician explains how the detoxing diet plan works. I’m apprehensive, fearing I will have to endure grass-like smoothies, but I eschew a well-meaning friend’s suggestion to smuggle in emergency Quorn sausage rolls. I hear of some rebellious guests who surreptitiously order Uber Eats during the retreat, but I intend to commit fully. The science-focused, plant-based nutrition programme is designed to decrease inflammation, preventing ageing on a cellular level. With my octo-lacto vegetarian, coeliac dietary requirements and an aversion to mushrooms, I fear they have their work cut out. Charts are produced that provide the most concise and useful explanation of dietary health I have ever read.
ON THE MENU
Seeds, the on-site restaurant, is not dissimilar to a Michelin star venue, with immaculately dressed tables and floor-to-ceiling windows affording spectacular views of the Swiss Alps as you dine. Staff warmly greet each guest by name and it’s evident they are fully informed of my detox programme. Curated by Head chef David Alessandria, who in 2022 was proclaimed the MOF ‘Meilleur Ouvrier de France’ or ‘Best craftsman in France,’ wheat, sugar, caffeine, lactose and starchy carbs are completely off the menu. An evening meal comprises Swiss minestrone soup, soya tacos, asparagus spears, and roasted mango. Based on an anti-inflammatory diet, it belies the myths about clean food being boring. It is utterly delicious. Every meal is preceded by CLP’s detox tea, a concoction of herbs that cleanse the liver and kidneys. There are cabbage smoothies, and they are as mouthwatering as a margherita.
CRYOTHERAPY
It’s here that the wellness centre goes all Star Trek on me. The cryotherapy chamber resembles a giant freezer set at -50, that I must stand in for three minutes. The impact of the extreme cold on the vascular system opens arteries and veins, allowing blood to flow to damaged tissues, creating new white cells that boost circulation and collagen production. I tentatively step into the cylindrical, freezer-like chamber with just a pair of woolly shoes and socks to protect my feet. The temperature drops and freezing mist surrounds me. Barely two minutes in, and with knees knocking, I fear I will turn into a popsicle. Cryotherapy releases a rush of endorphins, heightening the emotions. I’m on a freezer-high.
TANITA
Tanita is a piece of technology that carries out a body composition analysis that will reveal my body mass and visceral fat ratings, fat distribution, water content, bone mass and protein levels. The results are definitive and with only 44% water content and a few lingering holiday pounds, I have some work to do. A personal fitness trainer provides me with helpful and achievable weight training routines that will help me balance the scales.
THE OGLIGOSCAN
Dr. Mounir conducts an Ogligoscan with a piece of technology that when placed on the palm of my hand, identifies the toxic metals and minerals in my body. It turns out my aluminium is high, attributed to eating sandwiches wrapped in foil, and there is cadmium in my system emanating from my mobile phone battery, but the arsenic levels are low, so nobody is poisoning me, which is good news, and I am devoid of silicon. “Women come here insisting they are completely real, but the results often tell another story,” Dr Mounir quips.
THE DETOXIFYING MASSAGE
The treatment rooms are a lemongrass scented haven, where you can expect traditional therapies like facials and seaweed wraps that aid the detox process. My therapist Hachim pummels my back, pinching and prodding tight muscles, and massages the core, into the liver and kidney. It’s like a workout for the organs that will help prime the body for the detox process.
INFRA-THERAPY TREATMENT
The transition from extremes of cold to heat in the infra-therapy chamber jump-starts the vascular system. This technology resembling an MRI body scanner uses infrared rays that penetrate deeper into the skin, regenerating and healing cells as you bask under the rays.
RESET FOR LIFE
Two months after my Swiss MOT wellness centre experience and my day starts with Phil’s breathing exercises. My water intake has doubled and everyday, I plan a plant-based menu derived from whole foods. They didn’t quite rebuild me like the Bionic Woman, but it has been a fully transformative experience. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say it has been life-changing.
VISIT THE WELLNESS CENTRE YOURSELF
The Detox Reset programme prices start from £9,906 including room and full board. Clinique La Prairie is located in Montreux, Switzerland. Visit cliniquelaprairie.com for enquiries.
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