But working out which festive feast to treat yourself (or your partner) to is snow easy feat.
Luckily, we’ve scoured the virtual shelves to find you the very best sex toy advent calendars — and let’s just say, we clearly made it onto Santa’s nice list.
And, thanks to the return of Black Friday, you can bag up to an extra 20% off most.
So, forget the carol singing, ice skating and eggnog, because you won’t need to leave the house to find comfort and (major) joy this winter.
Sex toy advent calendar best-sellers in 2023
Ready for some not-so-silent nights? Here are some of our favourite sex toy calendars for 2023 — keep scrolling for the full list.
When does advent start in 2023?
Mark your calendars: advent starts on Sunday 3 December and runs until Saturday 30 December 2023.
Although most advent calendars run from December 1st to December 12th or 24th, otherwise known as Christmas Eve.
But what exactly is Advent?
Essentially, it’s the four weeks leading up to Christmas and, ultimately, the birth of Jesus Christ. And did you know the (Latin) word ‘advent’ actually means ‘arrival’?
When do advent calendars go on sale?
With less than 70 days to go, we say now a go time to start your Christmas shopping.
13 best sex toy advent calendars to shop now
Sorry Frosty, things are about to get hot and steamy...
Bondara 12 Days of Kink Bondage Advent Calendar
Fancy rockin' your partner's world this Crimbo? British pleasure purveyor Bondara has made sure BDSM is firmly part of the festive buffet — and what a treat this kinky calendar is.
So start off with some (not so) gentle teasing, courtesy of those nipple clamps and that feather tickler. Then ramp it up a notch with the paddle or wrist and ankle restraints. While a little light on toys (the elves clearly saved those for the Couples' 24 Day Calendar), this one does come with a metal jewel-tipped butt plug so you can look merry from every angle.
Thoughtfully designed in a mix of festive red and luxe-looking matte black silicone, this is also a major treat for the eyes – and ideal for any pairs looking to set up their very own Red Room.
Bondara 24 Days of Play Couple's Sex Toy Advent Calendar
Oh Santa, you spoil us! Yep, for three (and a bit) weeks, you can expect a new pulsing plaything or a sexy accessory every day of the week.
Inside this calendar for couples are three dildos — the Glacier Glass Gold Rush Black G-Spot Dildo was rather popular among the WH team — two butt plugs, two cock rings, a bullet vibe, penis sleeve, male masturbator, nipple suckers, Kegel balls and a petite mini wand for extra external stimulation.
The big guy also loaded you up with essentials like lube (three bottles to be exact, including a tasty cherry pick), massage oil and toy cleaner.
Lovehoney Dream Wand Sex Toy Calendar
Ho, ho, no chance we could skip over Lovehoney's other stellar stockings. This 12-day sex toy selection comes with five full-sized toys, our favourites being the remote-controlled bullet, hot-pink vibrating cock ring and the Dream Mini Massage Wand, normally priced at £69.99.
Then there’s the selection of soft BDSM accessories that make this set ideal for bondage beginners. We’re talking satin wrist ties and a blindfold — or rose petals if you'd rather ramp up the romance.
Worth £205.99, and now reduced to just £90, this is the steal of the season. Go!
Sinful Premium Advent Calendar
Last Christmas we were very pleasantly surprised by Sinful's sultry stockings — and thankfully the elves decided to bring them back for 2023.
And 'premium' is certainly the vibe with this 24-day selection of booty basics. We're talking a warming rampant rabbit, a double-ended dildo and a palm-sized magic wand, plus four interchangeable heads including anal beads and a masturbator for him.
There's also lingerie for both players, plus a faux-leather braided blindfold which perfectly co-ordinates with the wrist restraints and hogtie. Guess that saves you splurging on festive jammies for Christmas morning...
Sinful Original Advent Calendar
Forget Santa, Sinful wanted to make sure it was you cumming to town with this bundle of 13 sex toys, five erotic accessories and six soft bondage playthings.
There are various ways to send you, or your better half, straight into unadulterated pleasure, including via a mini g-spot vibrator, geisha ball (for those who fancy taking the fun outside), and a beginner-friendly anal teaser. We recommend using the latter to scale up your next round of missionary...
Included with every calendar is also a handy inspiration booklet explaining how to use your new bedmates. Yeah, we’ve cancelled all our plans for January too.
Sinful 12 Days of Christmas Adventures for Men
Bring your partner's year to a mind-blowing climax with Sinful’s 12 day offering for men.
Stuffed with a tree-mendous selection of sexy treats for his penis and P-spot, there'll be no moaning this Christmas (unless he's a loud lover). Our top picks of the lot: the blue waves handjob sleeve and the double penis ring sleeve, which also comes with a vibrating shaft to tickle his gooch.
At just £69 (hold the giggles), this one’s great for those trying to stick to a budget. We couldn’t elf ourselves and have already ordered ours...
Bondara 12 Days for Her Sex Toy Advent Calendar
Single and ready to jingle your own bells this festive season? Stuffed with treats for your G-spot, this is all about levelling up your solo sessions — and isn't that the key to a happy new year?
Again, there's a variety of dildos to choose from (including a Glass Black Spiral and Dot Dual-Sided Dildo we're proudly keeping in plain sight on our bedside), as well as a rampant rabbit for those who need simultaneous action to get their kicks.
We're so excited that we've already ordered two, and are planning to open them early. Feel free to stick me on the naughty list, Santa...
Bondara 12 Days for Him Sex Toy Advent Calendar
There's no chance of a Blue Christmas when this 12-day calendar for penis-havers is involved.
Again, there are toys and sexy treats in abundance, including a cock and ball ring, lifelike male masturbator, a full-sized penis pump and a vibrating butt plug, fitted with a extra-wide base to extend the pleasure all the way to his perineum.
But what we really love about this calendar is the discreet, yet still very festive, packaging. Yep, you won’t find the words ‘sex’, ‘toy’ or ‘self-pleasure’ on the front of Bondara's lucky-dip style packaging (or the tissue paper disguising each pressie), meaning no awkward questions when your grandparents pop over.
And at just £79.99, that leaves enough to treat yourself too. Go on, we insist.
Bondara 24 Days of Play LGBTQ+ Couples' Sex Toy Advent Calendar
Now we'll admit that while Lovehoney and Ann Summers do a great job of wrapping up our Christmas wish list and hiding it behind those mini doors, they often pack their calendars with heterosexual couples in mind.
Luckily, Bondara has decided to launch an LGBTQ+ selection box — and believe us when we say it's quality that's right up our street.
With 13 full-sized toys (that X-Mas Tree Silicone Butt Plug not only decorates their backside but also delivers intense pleasure to the P-spot), plus lube, massage oil, body chocolate, a Kinky Kards game and restraints, for those that want to live out their 50 Shades of Grey fantasies.
Our editor described this as the 'gateway to endless Ho, Ho, Os'. Sold.
Ann Summers 12 Nights of Exhilaration
Jingle bell rock your way to the checkout right now, as we're sure this Ann Summers' offering won't be around long.
Packed with seven full-sized toys, three erotic accessories, plus lube, orgasm gel and sex dice, you'll have no time for your usual festive traditions.
Our favourite of the lot? The textured massage wand that's great for getting out those knots out your shoulders – and pummelling your nether regions. Just load up the tip with your favourite water-based lube and get to work.
And as it's officially cuffing season, the thoughtful lot at Ann Summers have also chucked in a pair of leopard-print wrist restraints and a collar with a lead. Hot.
Ann Summers 12 Nights of New Sensations
If you're after something that looks and feels a little more festive, the 12 Nights of New Sensations offering comes with red hot toys – and will get you feeling exactly the same.
Packed with eight pieces of sex tech including a rampant rabbit, pebble vibe, cock ring, mini wand, anal plug and a masturbator for your mistletoe match, we can guarantee it'll be a starry night once you've unpacked all your goodies (or naughties).
And with lube, orgasm gel and sex cheques stuffed inside too, we'd say it's a total sleigh by Ann Summers.
SheSpot X Killing Kittens: Come Closer Calendar
Tis the season to gift yourself a bumper pack of sexual wellness goodies intended to send you on a 'sensual journey to nurture your curiosity'.
Expect luxury lube from The Oh Collective, tie-side briefs from Agent Provocateur, two toys — Je Joue's Mimi pebble vibrator worth £75 and Biird's metal butt plug priced at £29.90 — as well as handcuffs and a massage candle.
Although the major selling point of this 12-day calendar is that SheSpot has promised to donate a portion of every sale to Fly Anyway Foundation, a charity supporting domestic abuse survivors to build sustainable businesses.
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