"I have a little bit of a blessing that we're still in the honeymoon phase," the Goop founder, 49, tells PEOPLE in this week's issue. "I am really lucky I married Brad. There is just something about us together. We've been able to build on all the stuff we've gone through in life and create something really amazing. And I'm grateful for our chemistry. That can get you through some tough spots!"
ANGELA WEISS/AFP/Getty Gwyneth Paltrow, Brad Falchuk
Fittingly, in her new Netflix series, Sex, Love & goop, launching October 21, the Oscar winner leads discussions with five couples navigating everything from marriage intimacy to past sexual traumas — and opens up about her own previous relationships.
"It's so important to be honest," Paltrow says. "If you're trying to please somebody or be somebody you're not, you're lying to yourself. There are definitely times in my life when I look back and think, 'I was not aligned with myself.' And therefore I was in a relationship that was not positive for me."
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"We don't like to fail, and we don't like to be vulnerable and we white knuckle through it," she says. "We push our inner voice down. But when you start to admit the hard stuff to yourself, there's no way back."
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With Falchuk, "the key has been being as accountable as possible for the negative ways I was in earlier relationships," says Paltrow. "I have worked hard to break old patterns and work on long held intimacy issues in order to make the most out of my marriage. Divorce is never something you hope for or plan, a second marriage can be a beautiful gift."
And the couple have found the lovingly effective to communicate, despite different approaches.
"I'm not a good fighter," Paltrow admits. "Brad is much better at it than I am. I'll retreat to a defensive place and shut down. He's amazing because he won't let me out of it. It's about accountability and showing up — and that's really hard for me to do sometimes."
No matter what, Paltrow and Falchuk cherish a sweet Saturday morning tradition, one they'll no doubt have for years to come.
"I make him a #boyfriendbreakfast which is something I started to do when we were dating," she says. "They can range from a savory crêpe to a crab omelette. But it's always something special."
Sex, Love & goop premieres on Netflix Oct. 21.