Yahoo Finance Junior MasterChef weekly recap: children routinely combust with joy and everything is cake
When was the last time you felt actual wonder? When did you last gaze, slack-jawed and amazed, at something sublime – something so awe-inspiring that your face forgot the correct way to hang off your skull? When was the last time you LIVED?
It’s been a while for me. Due to Melbourne’s lockdown, I’ve been sitting in a quiet room dutifully dirtying and cleaning various clothes and dishes for six months straight. But in the Junior MasterChef kitchen it seems to happen every night.
There are only two episodes this week but each one features kids routinely combusting with joy.
It starts with Monday’s mystery box – specifically the guest judge of Monday’s mystery box. “Oh my god,” Laura says. “[It’s] Emelia Jackson. Like, the Emelia Jackson. Like, winner of MasterChef Emelia Jackson. Like, in the flesh Emelia Jackson. Oh my god. Fangirling.”
Laura looks at Emelia as though she’s walking in slow-motion down a staircase before prom.
Emelia, the winner of last season’s MasterChef Australia: Back to Win, asks the kids to remove the lids of their mystery box and get cooking but wait …
Just when you think the world is over the cake thing: CAKE. The box: cake. The contents: cake. The challenge: not cake.
Welcome to the world, kids. Even the good things are kind of a nightmare.
don't trust anyone, not even yourself pic.twitter.com/YRqGZhpt9l
— james🌋 (@fueiho_boogie_) July 12, 2020
Each contestant has 75 minutes to create a dish that heroes one of the ingredients of Emelia’s cake: strawberries, dark chocolate, white chocolate, passionfruit, vanilla, lemon and hazelnut.
They can make anything they like, and if it’s one of the top five dishes they get a shot at immunity the following night.
It’s Ben, Vienna, Georgia, Dev and Laura who come out on top.
Ben goes for some fancy ice cream sandwiches, Vienna makes a white choc and passionfruit space boob, Georgia wows the judges with a deconstructed lemon tart, Dev cops a comparison to the dessert king, Reynold, for his a clever chocolate mousse and passionfruit creation, and Laura impresses her idol with some perfect profiteroles! You love to see it.
When the choux Queen loves your pastry 👌 #JrMasterChefAU #MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/6eueC8lZKH
— JrMasterChefAU (@JrMasterChefAU) October 26, 2020
On Tuesday night the wonder keeps coming.
We cold open on a mysterious man artfully throwing around a big wet noodle. He emerges from the shadows, the music builds, the wet noodle swings and bends in the light. It’s like a Terrence Malick film – if Terrence Malick films also had a small boy from Bendigo yelling things like “ohhh, bloody heck!” over and over again.
“This is Mr Xu – or Mr X, as he likes to be called,” Andy eventually explains. The kids have 60 minutes to turn Mr X’s noodles into any dish of their choosing and the best two will have immunity from Sunday night’s elimination challenge.
Vienna goes for cha ca, a Vietnamese turmeric-based noodle dish. Georgia makes char kway teow, one of Mel’s favourites. Dev opts for very spicy dan dan noodles. Laura pairs her noodles with sweet and spicy pork shoulder. Ben whips up some squid ink because “it has such a beautiful vibrant colour – I really love it!!!”
Look, Ben doesn’t win – but he’ll always be a winner in my eyes.
Hey, look. A prawn with a spring onion body 🦐 #JrMasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/DGF3j9rffl
— JrMasterChefAU (@JrMasterChefAU) October 27, 2020
You know who does win? Vienna, whose cha ca is perfectly balanced and a total “celebration on a plate”.
Also, this legend:
Dev’s dan dan noodles are “technically perfect”. It’s a dish he loves to make at home and that shows in the kitchen. Dev says he knows he’s quiet but he loves to show his feelings through food. “Everything about that was what I like about food,” Andy says, after tasting. “It’s just a real joy to have you in this kitchen.”
And … that’s it! No ruthless elimination. No downbeat elbow bumps as children shuffle off back to isolate with their families in a global pandemic. No one’s going home until Sunday this week – and it won’t be Vienna or Dev. We can all take a moment to bask in that joy.
What made me feel the most inadequate
How does every child know these dishes off the top of their heads? Georgia immediately whipped out 13 stainless steel bowls for every element her char kway teow and was confident about the precise timings of cooking each of them. The only thing I’d be confident about is the fact I do not have 13 bowls in my apartment.
What I’ll be thinking about all week
Dev identifying Andy as one of the whitest men in Australia. When trying to decide how much chilli to put in his dan dan noodles, Dev confided in Mel: “I think you’d be all right, I don’t know about Andy, though ... ”
Smash cut to this shot of Andy looking like a wet fish:
• Junior MasterChef continues on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday nights on Network Ten. Guardian Australia recaps run each Wednesday
