Kandi Burruss is looking back on the emotional rollercoaster of her embryo transfer process.
On PEOPLE's new podcast Me Becoming Mom this week, the Real Housewives of Atlanta star, 45, talks about her surrogacy journey with husband Todd Tucker that brought them their youngest, daughter Blaze, back in November 2019.
Burruss — who is also mom to daughter Riley, 17, and son Ace Wells, 5½ — recalls the emotional moment they found out one of the twins didn't make it after the embryo transfer to their surrogate.
"We were super happy, obviously, that she was pregnant. Then, you know, they did the scan and we were super, super excited 'cause both embryos took initially," she tells host Zoë Ruderman, Head of Digital at PEOPLE. "Then, a few weeks later one of them, I don't know what they call it, but it went away. So we lost one of them."
"I was super sad because, once again, we're thinking that we might have twins, and then they tell us, 'Yes, both of them are there.' Then we're all happy, excited," Burruss explains. "The numbers were going up, and then they stopped going up. Then you're sitting there praying, hoping that something is going to change. And it didn't change."
She adds, "You're super happy that you do have a healthy one. But then you're super sad that you lost one."
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Elsewhere in the interview, Burruss debunks a misconception about surrogacy, remembering how people asked her if she worried about being unable to "bond" with her baby.
"I guess [the] initial thinking is, like, just because somebody doesn't physically have their baby that they won't be able to have that same bond as a mother who physically pushed the baby out. And I can tell you for sure — if you ever had a doubt in your mind — that is not true," she says.
The 12-episode weekly Me Becoming Mom podcast explores the various roads to motherhood through different interviews with both celebrity guests and experts in the field. Topics on the show include IVF, adoption, surrogacy, single parenthood, same-sex couples, home births, pregnancy loss, unexpected and surprising birth stories, among other subjects.
Upcoming guests on the show include Alyssa Milano, Padma Lakshmi, Tamron Hall and more.
New episodes of Me Becoming Mom drop weekly on Thursdays wherever you stream podcasts.