Yahoo Finance Loose Women's Stacey Solomon says postnatal depression still gives her "tremendous guilt"
Stacey Solomon has opened up about the "tremendous guilt" she continues to experience from the postnatal depression she developed after having her first child 13 years ago.
The Loose Women star welcomed Zachary when she was 17 back in 2008, and admitted that she still feels "terrible" about the "gut-wrenching" sadness she felt after giving birth when she spends time with 13-year-old Zach now.
"Even now, and I don't look back and regret anything, but I definitely have moments now with Zachey where I think, 'I wish I loved you from the very minute [you were born]'..." Stacey told Bryony Gordon's Mad World mental health podcast.
"Not that I didn't, I just I didn't feel it, I didn't get it, and it brings me tremendous guilt. Especially when I love my other children, when they're born and I love them, and think 'this is amazing'... I immediately feel like 'wow, I was terrible when I had Zack'."
She continued: "At least it made me prepared for every other time I've given birth, I was prepared to feel that way. And I knew it would pass. Which is just the most comforting feeling. When I was in it with Zack, I genuinely thought, I'm never going to be happy again, and I'm never going to love my child, and it made me feel horrendous."
Stacey is mum to eight-year-old Leighton, and one-year-old Rex, who she welcomed with fiance Joe Swash in 2019. The author and TV personality said she also developed postnatal depression after giving birth to Rex, but felt reassured from past experiences of it to understand that it was only temporary and would eventually pass.
"When I had Rex a couple years ago, I got the exactly same feeling. the gut-wrenching, just unhappy, I just feel deeply unhappy for no reason," Stacey revealed. "I'm so happy but I'm just deeply unhappy, and uncontrollably sobbing. But at least I knew when I was going through that little stage, that I would come out of it. So positives did come out of it, but I really wish I didn't feel like that, but it's who I am I suppose."
Stacey recently moved into a new home in Essex with her family that she is currently redecorating and renovating. She and Joe are planning to marry in the garden of their new home later this year.
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