The world is crumbling into a seething pit of pure pain and unbridled chaos, but hey, get a load of Marks and Spencer’s (M&S) “love nut Yumnut”.
In the surreal sequel to Santa’s Yumnut – that Christmas doughnut that made you question the very foundations of reality itself last year – comes its Valentine’s Day spin-off, the “love nut”.
The British retailer wants you to “feel the LOVE NUTS this Valentine’s” with its new “love nut Yumnut” it tweeted Wednesday (27 January).
❤️ Feel the LOVE NUTS this Valentine’s! ❤️ Our new love nut Yumnut™ lands in store TODAY! Pick one up now. pic.twitter.com/qr12A72jVm
— M&S (@marksandspencer) January 27, 2021
Get ready to lick your lips as you stuff your face with this tasty hole oozing with thick white chocolate icing, according to the M&S website.
It’s a delicious croissant-doughnut hybrid with the plump pastry topped by two things at once – tiny chocolate hearts and freeze-dried raspberries.
While we’re not sure when the love nut will be pulled out of stores, the supermarket announced that you can get a mouthful of love nut in its bakeries from 27 January.
But for those who would rather get their hands on a sausage, don’t worry. M&S also announced that its “Love Sausage” is back and this time it will pound on your backdoor.
You know, as it will be available for home-delivery as part of a breakfast in bed Valentine’s love hamper, the Daily Record reported.
Everyone wants to get a mouthful of Marks & Spencer’s love nut Yumnut
Whether they’re in the mood for a Yumnut or a piece of meat, Twitter users immediately praised M&S for once again proving that marketing teams need to hire LGBT+ people.
ah yes, valentine’s, the best time to gobble down on some love nuts https://t.co/UHlvvGGytQ
— charly 🍂 (@charlywhyman) January 27, 2021
— Dan 🐙 // マガリ ムオリ // (@spacedannn) January 27, 2021
Where’s the gay intern in marketing someone speak to him please https://t.co/axouyyTmM3
— Chxbbe (@chxbbe) January 27, 2021
There’s one thing I miss about the UK…
There is nothing – NOTHING! – that even comes close to the quality, product selection and creativity of an M&S food
— Andy Legon (@AndrewLegon) January 27, 2021
With Santa’s Yumnut having been released just days after Britain’s second lockdown was announced, M&S appear to have struck a tradition of dropping new Yumnuts during the climaxes of lockdown, with Britain currently in the throes of its third.
So who knows what the next Yumnut will be. Perhaps a Daddy’s Yumnut for Father’s Day? Or a rugby-themed, er, rosebud Yumnut… but perhaps that won’t go down as well.
After all, M&S launched a vegan Easter egg shaped like a girthy eggplant in December that those hoping to wrap their lips around would definitely need both hands to handle.