Yahoo Finance How to network when you have social anxiety
Walking into a room full of strangers and starting a conversation is not an easy task. And for people with social anxiety, it can be even more difficult.
While others appear to confidently hold the room, moving from person to person with funny, interesting chat, you’re filled with fear and negative thoughts. You’re worried you are going to embarrass yourself, and that the sweat stains on your top are becoming increasingly visible. Instead of taking the opportunity to meet new contacts, you eye the clock for the opportunity to make an exit.
Unfortunately, forming professional relationships can be really beneficial to career success by helping people access information and support. Research suggests that people who have a diverse range of contacts are also able to think of better ideas, too. And while a certain level of nervousness is normal, social anxiety can prevent people from attending or enjoying social settings.
But there are steps you can take to help make networking a little easier if you struggle in social situations. Career coach Meg Burton advises to think carefully about which networking events you want to attend – and to choose relaxed, less formal ones.
“Prepare yourself beforehand – know why you are going and what you are looking for,” she says. “Think about what you will say when people ask ‘so what do you do?’ but don’t feel pressured to have a highly polished elevator pitch – that will come with practice.”
It can also help to have something physical at hand to give to people which can take the focus off you, such as a business card or leaflet. Holding something can also give you something to do with your hands, which can make you feel less nervous.
Burton says it’s worth contacting the organiser to see if they can meet you for a 1:1 beforehand, so you know somebody in the room. “Maybe they can arrange for someone to meet you outside the venue or look to go to events where you already know someone who can support you,” she adds.
And while you might feel pressure to meet lots of new people, this can be overwhelming. “Concentrate on just meeting one to three people in the room, don’t put pressure on yourself to talk to everyone and look to make eye contact with someone, there will be someone who is warm, friendly and will help you,” Burton says.
It can also help to look for someone standing alone, who is most likely wishing someone would come along and talk to them.
Sometimes, even when you’ve prepared and rehearsed what you want to say, panic can still take over. Rather than try to fight it, step outside and get some fresh air and try to breathe slowly and deeply.
If you can’t face a networking event, organising your own circle can be really beneficial too. Try searching on social media for like-minded people in your field and invite them for coffee meet ups, where you can exchange support, advice and ideas.
It’s also worth reminding yourself that even the most confident of people struggle with networking too, and most people will be putting on a brave face. At some point, we have all stumbled over our words or made an awkward comment. Embarrassing moments are common and not the end of the world, even if they feel like torture at the time.
“Remember everyone in the room was probably nervous about networking at some point but they’ve all just had different levels of practice,” Burton says. “Believe in yourself and imagine how good it will feel when you’ve done it.”
But if social anxiety is having a big impact on lots of aspects of your life, it can be a good idea to see your GP who can advise on the best course of action.
