Suffering a miscarriage is one of the most heart-wrenching feelings a person can have, and unfortunately many people carry the grief privately. But in reality, experiencing pregnancy loss is when we need our village the most.
People choose not to speak about losing a pregnancy for a number of reasons: it makes it feel more real; it hurts too much to talk about; but many people feel a sense of shame around miscarriage, like their body can’t do what it was built to do.
Poppy Seed Health was founded on the idea of supporting those who have experienced pregnancy loss and celebrate the strength it takes to persevere after going through the unimaginable. The company is working to reframe the way we talk about miscarriage and pregnancy loss by focusing on the way it’s changed us and shaped us instead of feeling blame, shame, inadequacy or weakness.
Poppy Seed Health shared a powerful and emotional video titled “Thiscarried” on YouTube where several women spoke openly about their experiences with pregnancy loss.
“One thing I wasn’t prepared for is they ask you a thousand questions,” Kristin, who lost a baby at 27 weeks and is mom to a 7-month-old through IVF, said with tears in her eyes. “Do you want an autopsy? Do you want to hold her? Do you want photos? Do you want her to wear clothes? Do you want her in a hat?”
“The worst thing is, what do you want to do with her?” her partner added.
“For a long time I just felt a deep sense of shame that my body just couldn’t do what it was supposed to do, and it felt uniquely like my problem,” said Judy, who has endured five pregnancy losses between herself and her surrogate, and is mom to a 4-month-old. “I think it’s interesting we use the past tense. We’ll say we lost a pregnancy but the fact of the matter is I’m still grieving those pregnancies.”
Ashley, who’s been trying to have children for eight years, believes every person’s journey into motherhood is different. “There are mothers on this earth who have never given birth, but they have legacy, they have children, they have influence,” she said. “My hope is that I can produce life, but if that’s not my journey I’m OK with that too, because I will be a mother.”
Every pregnancy loss journey is different, too, but one thing stays true no matter the story: whether it’s through the heart or the womb, “Thiscarried,” and that takes unimaginable strength.