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Woman faces backlash over ‘unfair’ reason for skipping her own birthday party: ‘Act like an adult’

Emerald Pellot
·3-min read

A woman didn’t go to her birthday party when her family made it a point to exclude her girlfriend.

She sought advice on Reddit’s “Am I The A******” forum to see if what she did was wrong. Although her family doesn’t normally make a big deal about birthdays, this year they decided to throw one for the woman. However, things took a turn when it came to the matter of inviting her girlfriend.

“A week ago I turned 23. I’ve been with Ry (nickname) for five years, engaged for two and living together for three. Ry is 27,” she wrote. “We’ve never been a family to really celebrate birthdays, I’d get something small and a card and that would be it. But for whatever reason, my mother wanted to celebrate this birthday and I agreed, let her and my sister (30) arrange everything.”

Then a week before her birthday she’s told that Ry isn’t invited to the party.

“I get told that Ry wasn’t invited because my grandmother and mother don’t like her (age difference and they think she ‘turned’ me),” she explained. “And that maybe we could do two meals, one with my siblings and Ry and one with my family. But then my other sister texted me, an hour later, saying she’d talk to the family about inviting Ry. A few days before my birthday she said it was a no go but they’d arrange something else to include Ry.”

Ry accepted that she wasn’t invited, but the 23-year-old opted to skip the party entirely.

“Now my family are texting me saying that I’ve embarrassed them and that I could’ve done something with Ry later on and that I’m being manipulative,” she said. “I’d ignore this but Ry is upset that I’ve made them think she’s behind this and they’ll blame her for it. […] I am a woman, not a man, so yes them accusing her of turning me is them accusing her of turning me gay.”

Reddit had a surprisingly mixed reaction to the situation.

“Maybe the (small) age difference wouldn’t bother them if you didn’t act like you were 12. You expected your sister to convince them into inviting your fiancé instead of just telling them your adult self. And then you just don’t show up when you’ve made zero effort to tell anyone that not inviting your fiancé is unacceptable. Act like an adult if you want to be treated like one,” one user commented.

“Letting Ry take the blame here, which you are doing by not being explicit about it being your choice, is utterly unfair to her,” another said.

“Your family decided to throw a birthday party for you, but didn’t even allow you to bring your long time GF. It’s insane to exclude a celebrant from deciding who is going to attend their birthday,” someone added.

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