Aon plc (AON)

Written more than a few years ago --- and still true.

HOW THE CASE STOLE CHRISTMAS

Every colleague at Aon liked Christmas alot.
But the Case, who lived just north in Chicago, did not.
The Case hated Christmas, the whole expense driven season.
Oh Please don't ask why, I don't quite know the reason.
It may be because his belt was too tight.
It may be because his head was McKinsied all right.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
Was that that it meant Holiday Bonuses, not small.

But whatever the reason, his belt or McKinsey
The Case stood there Christmas eve hating the whimsy.
For tomorrow he knew they were all expecting to see
Quite rather large paychecks expressly from ME.
Of writing those checks he could not allow.
Of that he was certain, the problem was HOW.

Then a thought came along, an evil idea.
Another restructuring program just like last year.
The numbers were good, the stock price was up
But those nasty expenses still had to be cut.

So he called in dear Christa,
a woman of fact to find out new ways
to trim down the fat.

"The Payroll is down through workforce reductions,
eliminating many redundant job functions.
We've cut here and there, and cut through the night,
wiped out whole departments, yet nothing is right.
Thousands are still on the books, don't you see.
We've got to get it down to a count of just three."

So the very next day at the quarterly call,
the Case made an announcement ending it all.

"The jobs here are gone, we'll offshore the lot,
to India and China and maybe Bangkok.
Of here there is nothing, and once overseas,
it's cheaper and faster and better, you'll see."

And with safe harbor statements legally binding,
the Case closed the call while others were finding
That if Christmas carried slightly less cheer ...
they could afford to be patient, there was always next year.