Yahoo Finance "I'm Stingy As Hell But Also Rich Enough That It Doesn't Really Matter": People Are Sharing Their Relationship With Money
As someone who didn't learn about personal finance until my mid-twenties, I love scrolling on Reddit for money-related content — from saving tips to cheap meals to general commiseration over the cost-of-living prices.
Well, I stumbled on this thread in the r/asianamerican subreddit, where u/throwawayandwhathavu asked Asian Americans about their relationship with money. Here's what they said:
1."I grew up what I call fake-poor. My parents had a beat-up car that broke down every month, I had holes in my shoes and socks, and I had to shop at the clearance rack. We weren’t actually poor. But I always felt poor because I was poorer than even the poorest kids at school who had no holes in their shoes. My parents didn’t believe in spending money when I’d just outgrow stuff in a year. They could have bought a car that actually ran reliably; they just didn’t want to. I have to admit that’s one reason why I spend more now — I’m tired of being poor, and now I have the means to not be that way."
2."I max out my 401(k) and IRA, had 1x my annual income in retirement savings by 30, and am on track to 3x by 40. I have three months of emergency savings in liquid form and throw the rest in index funds and CD ladders. I don't budget the rest, but I always have enough to spend on fun."
3."Travelling and experiences is a big one for me. I’m cheap in many ways, but I don’t want to live my whole life in a day-in, day-out sameness, although it’s a beautiful life. Traveling is like being transported to an alien planet sometimes, and I feel so alive. Otherwise, it’s saving where I can and cooking most meals."
4."I'm not good with money at all. I really need to be a lot more disciplined. I'm a pretty wasteful, sloppy person when it comes to money, and I need to change."
5."I grew up working class. My father was a mechanic, my mother a seamstress, and I grew up with my grandparents in a small house. Money was tight. I learned to live within my means and have enough money to buy a home in the Midwest now, but not in California where I live. Most of my cousins (8–10 of them) have started home buying, and most earn six figures. Not bad for a refugee extended family with no close relatives back in Asia. We're still trying to climb back to our status before we left, so it's still not good in our parents' perspective — I guess except for my cousins who went to Ivy Leagues/Stanford."
6."I didn’t grow up with a lot of financial knowledge — it’s only later in life that I learned it. I have a 401(k) and all that good stuff. But I also believe in spending money on things that really matter. What good is money if you don’t use it? So I’m very deliberate about it, but when I spend, I do so without a second thought. I needed a new car and could have stretched my old car — paid off seven years ago — a little longer, but I love driving and upgraded to a BMW M4, which makes the daily commute actually fun. And it’ll be paid off in under four years, financed at under 3%. Spanish is my second language, so I go to Spain and live it up."
"I think the old generation, especially immigrants, don’t always have a healthy relationship with money. Not their fault — financial institutions aren’t exactly as reliable as ours are here. And the financial instruments we have here are very powerful at creating wealth if you can harness it correctly. And if they grew up poor, they never want to spend money on anything.
7."I live within my means, so I don't spend much. Not because I'm trying to save, but just because I don't really desire buying much. However, when I do want something, I just buy it because I know I'm well within my theoretical budget (I don't have one, but I imagine if I did, I would have a lot left over). I want to enjoy myself every now and then. I think the immigrant Asian way of saving 99% of your money and buying a place has the right philosophy but is too extreme for me."
"So, I take a middle approach. Save most, but just spend it whenever you want. I'd rather spend more time and money trying to make more money (top line) than optimizing my bottom line."
8."I'm adopted Korean. My parents are very financially conservative boomers and extremely low-risk investors. I overspend on stupid stuff (travel, eating, drinking out), and I churn credit cards but have no debt. Have a little squirreled away in high-yield savings and mutual funds. I drive a really crappy car that is paid off."
9."Paycheck to paycheck."
10."Like most Asian parents, I spend money to torture… Ooops… I meant enrichment classes for my kids."
11."I'd like to say I'm good with money, but others might see it as being cheap. I don't buy luxuries like expensive cars or clothes, I shop the weekly sales for groceries, and I only have one TV streaming service at a time. I don't buy the latest and greatest phone every year and will try to find a deal if I need to buy anything. I used to have a problem buying things for myself that I didn't consider a necessity, but I've tried to become better with it these days."
"And since I've been prioritizing saving money, I can spend more now on my hobbies and traveling. I'm also grateful to be able to own a home and also take advantage of the higher interest rates by investing in Treasury Bills. Parents probably still think I spend too much though, lol."
12."Pretty okay. I have enough money for lots of things but not a house."
13."I grew up poor. Some people go nuts when they accumulate some disposable money. I'm somewhat in the middle. I'm not cheap, but I'm not reckless. If I want something, I'll just buy it. I take Lyfts more often than the subway. Guitar playing is a serious hobby for me. I already have over 15 electric guitars, but if I see a guitar I want, I'll buy it. Just bought one last week. All guitars don't feel/sound the same. These are my big splurge buys. With most other things, I've learned to be frugal. Instead of paying in excess of $200/month for cable, I just have internet and use streaming platforms."
"I have a healthy bank account and very little debt. I treat debt as a cancer. But I'm at the point in my life where if I want something, I'll buy it. I subsidize my daughter's living expenses as she's just started grad school. Treat yourself sometimes. There's no guarantee of a tomorrow."
14."I save 15% of my earnings before bills, and the rest sits in checking. I’m not a big spender at all, so over time, I’ll have thousands of disposable income in my checking that I won’t use, and it’ll pile up. I'm trying to use it in investments, but I’m not the most knowledgeable on what stocks to buy, but I’m learning. I’ll treat myself to a big purchase ($200+) maybe once a month, and this includes any big trips."
15."I save a lot but honestly don’t make that much within the larger framework of society."
16."I'm stingy as hell but also rich enough that it doesn't really matter. Technically, I'm a millionaire (even if you don't count my house in my net worth), but I live like I'm still a grad student for 49 weeks each year (then I take a vacation for three weeks). The stinginess comes from my parents not really having anything when they came to the US. Typical nail salon and factory family, and they pushed education hard. Well, I got educated and got a nice career. I just never lost the frugal habits I had when I was younger."
"My investments are typical, long-term things. I own my house outright, and I sock about 80% to 85% of my take-home pay away in index funds. The rest I spend on a big vacation in Vietnam every year."
17."Classic house poor..."
18.And finally, "Background: My parents were never the people who do ridiculous things to save money, but they still want a good deal. We lived pretty comfortably. Turns out they basically have nothing to show for all their hard work. Growing up, I saw a lot of other Asian adults who were cheap, but now they seem a lot more comfortable than my parents, or at least the next generation seems better set up. I kinda wish my parents did more of that."
"I don’t make a lot of money, but I save a lot — currently put 25% of my paycheck into 401(k) and still save on top of that. I got pushed into buying property, but I live with family, so it’s not a huge burden. I want to learn everything about personal finance — in an almost unhealthy way. On paper, I’m probably ahead of my peers, but I feel five steps behind. It feels like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I’ll end up just like my parents."
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.
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